the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
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She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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