I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
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Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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