i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize