So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize