I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
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Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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