So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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