I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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