The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
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There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this will be a night to untag.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
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"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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