yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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