hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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