And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
someone threw a dead crab at me
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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