hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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