Your tits are I can't wait for
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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