About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He better not be in your backpack
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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