K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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