u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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