Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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