dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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