If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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