He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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