Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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