i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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