Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize