you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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