idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize