***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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