my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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