even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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