if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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