this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize