Little spoons don't ask big questions
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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