I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize