Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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