I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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