Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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