they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she peed on how many people?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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