Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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