you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize