I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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