that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize