she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize