guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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