I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize