It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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