I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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