She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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