Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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