Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize