woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
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Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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