the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize