Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize