I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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