Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i out mim tonsoeep
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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